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So I probably wasn't giving Diane my full attention. And the little bitch's willful failure to do her job was pissing me off."Fucking bitch!" I screamed on the fourteenth pull as the engine finally roared to life.I released the deadman lever, and put my hands on my hips as the engine sputtered to a stop."That's right, bitch!" I exulted in smug triumph. "On your fucking knees! It's time you did some fucking work around here for me."The tinkle of breaking glass was not normally a sound I associated with lawn care. I turned around very slowly, mortified that somebody might have heard me heaping transferred abuse onto a defenseless set of lawn machinery. Laura Stone was ten feet away, amid the small puddles of lemonade and shards of drinking glass that now littered the concrete floor. She was staring back at me, her face a montage of fear and apprehension and panic and something else that I couldn't recognize. Or to be more accurate, she was staring up at me from underneath the brim of a. "Draws riff-raff like flies!" he always says.Everything on tap is either locally brewed or comes from a regional microbrewery that meets Joe's exacting beer snob standards. There is a slightly wider selection of semi-obscure national and imported bottled beers, but most folks call for a pint of the local "Old Ordinary". If no one is around and you catch him unawares, you might find Joe sipping a Mexican Negra Modelo, or if he's really in the mood to slum in the depths of mundane sordid depravity, a Dos Equis Amber. He draws the line at being caught drinking a Corona, calling it the 'Mexican beer for riff-raff'', but he keeps a few hidden in the back of a cooler for the rest of us who think slightly otherwise, and he'll serve them all wrapped up in a napkin to hide the label and disguise our shame.Don't ever even consider asking for a 'light beer'. Just don't do it — trust me.Joe in his misspent youth had been a minor leaguer with the Cards farm system in the 1940's and had a long cup.
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