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The veil of society has been lifted andI see an ocean of desire in me.From the first moment I saw Chopper in the bar I twitched inside andfelt his testosterone as a powerful drug to my psyche. I didn't knowwhere I was going but I did feel subliminal feelings especially the timeI was in the bathroom and he came in. Just having Chopper stand next tome while seeing his pee rod in comparison to mine was breathtaking.Of course I had seen other men at urinals with their dicks out all werebigger then my stub. All of them to pee like racehorses, which oftenmade me a bit embarrassed. It was just for some reason Chopper exudedmore male producing intoxication in me.All the thoughts I had had over my life and been only thoughts exceptfor stealing a pair of panties and wearing them when I was sixteen andanother pair I had bought over the internet after I had moved into myapartment. Oh and I had, well I still have, a fuchsia wispy dress Ibought at the same time. I only tried it on once and I guess. Our eldest was a daughter who was now in University and the son was in high school. Both were good in their studies and were sufficiently involved in sports, dramatics or art to keep them well rounded, busy and out of trouble. So far so good. Somewhere with the birth of the new millennium, the mood at home changed. It may have crept in with Ashok’s intense drive to succeed or my overloaded schedule of multitasking or maybe it was the absence of the daughter who was the livewire and calmative force at home. Our son too was grappling with the critical years of high school when parental anxiety is at its pinnacle. Whatever the reasons were, Ashok and I moved away from each other spiritually and physically. We stopped doing stuff together or having those long chats and he lost interest in sex. The nonphysical distancing was more worrying for me. Then Ashok blew my world apart when he said he was seeing someone else. She was his already divorced work colleague that I had met once.
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