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The waiting was killing me. ‘Hey honey, I was thinking about cooking on the grill tonight. Are you still going tanning?’ I asked. ‘I was thinking about it, but I better not.’ Again with my mixed emotions. I was half relieved and half disappointed. Wait….. why am I disappointed? I asked myself. The next three days passed and my wife had not been back to the tanning salon. ‘You’re running out of time before our trip.’ I told her on the phone during our usual call. ‘I didn’t bring my bathing suit today. Maybe tomorrow.’ She said. Maybe the guy creeped her out? Maybe she was scared. What ever the reason, she seems to be scared off. The next day when I called her, I again brought up the subject after a few minutes. ‘Aaron (one of my friends) and I are going to go out and grab a beer after work. Are you still going tanning?’ I lied. ‘I left my bathing suit at home again. Maybe another day.’ She said ‘What do you need a bathing suit for? You’re in a tanning bed.’ I asked. ‘I don’t know.. Miss Jefferson wears black to project the image of the evil landlord and I wear white to indicate to tenants I’m on their side,’ invented Troy, greatly amusing himself.’ The president said to him, ‘Please excuse me – I find this most novel and interesting.’ Troy was reunited with Ellis, peering to see what the status of her nipples was when Mrs Maud Nelson came over and introduced herself to Ellis. ‘My Dears, I have arranged for you two to sit on either side of me for dinner. Our guest speaker the eminent architect Zac B. Ford was to present the same after dinner address he presented the year before last, he has agreed to stand aside in return for a continuous supply of champagne to allow you two to combine to deliver the address. Come to the table when you’re ready – we are due to start in ten minutes.’ ‘But why is she doing this to us?’ Ellis cried. ‘Neither of us is an after-dinner speaker of note.’ ‘I reckon she must have mistaken us for an eminent couple,’ Troy said. ‘Still.
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