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We'll make a picnic of it and get your mind off things. We'll take the carriage. The horses need a bit of exercise. And it's a nice spring day. Do you a lot of good to get out. You like driving." Where is the Johnson place?" Near a place called Frenchman's Bend, just a bit up the river from us. If my memory serves me right, the property once belonged to a Colonel Jim Johnson. He served in the state legislature for a number of years. He raised a big family in the house, but it looks like his heirs have no sentimental attachment to the place." Yeah, sure." Actually, it sounded like fun, much better than my stuffy office.We had a pleasant ride through Frenchman's Bend on our way. The little town was neat and tidy, with even a statue of Jim Johnson in the square. The surrounding country was pretty, it was a nice morning, and I was in a good mood when we arrived at the Johnson place, but I shook my head when I saw the furniture lying outside on the front driveway. I looked apprehensively. There was a lot of damage to his genital area, but(here's where it starts to go absurd) since they found him wearingpanties the doctor in charge decided that he must be one of thoseweirdo guys that want to be women, and he okays the reconstruction guyto rebuild his crotch with an innie instead of an outie. And he'sstill in a coma, screaming internally, "Stop! Don't do this!" but ofcourse no one can hear, and before you can say Jill Robinson, our boyDoug is now a girl! She doesn't wake up, but she can still hear things. It turns out thedoctor who approved this surgery is an Evil Bastard, and he's running ascam with his buddy the insurance man to perform all kinds of surgeriesand procedures on poor ex-Doug, charging it to the insurance settlementfrom the bad driver, and skimming a little of the top for himself. Itseems Dr. Evil Bastard Mike Andrews got into a little trouble and owesa lot of money to some shady characters, so he cooked up this scheme toget him the funds. He isn't.
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