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" She says the words slowly and deliberately.And I feel my gut churn as I realise something. "Are you... are you doing this because I said I loved you? Because you think this is what I want?"A wave of frustration sweeps through me, and most of it's directed at myself. I feel myself working up into a frenzy."What, you have to put yourself up to this? To- to kissing me at night because you can't stand it during the day? Do you think this is what you have to do to keep me? To keep from losing me? This isn't what I want. I don't want you kissing me because you're scared I'm gonna run away."Carly leans forward and takes my hand, and it silences me. She bites her lip, edging closer to me. "Sam, I'm not doing this because I'm scared of losing you. I'm doing this because I'm scared of- of the way I feel around you. You're my best friend. And you're a girl. I don't- I shouldn't feel like this. I don't wanna feel like this!"It undoes me. I feel my anger and frustration drain away instantly and. Anyway I slipped next door to change her light bulb as I was doing it she said your dressed up you going out I said was babysitter can't make it so no were not now, she said that's no problem ill look after the k**s you go so I said sure you don’t mind of course not she said I can sit and watch tv in your house great I said thank you Bulb done I went and told the wife and away we went.The local was, as usual, busy but not crowded usual people in we had a few drinks and a couple of Barcadi and cokes then about 10 pm we decided to head home as we were only 10 minutes away didn’t take long.We got In the house Barbra was watching a film on tv she said ok ill go home now I said your ok watch the end of the film I will make a cup of tea. Tea made we sat and watched the film after about 15 minutes I said think I will have a Bacardi and coke anyone want one the girls said yes so I made 3. After the film finished we were drinking our drinks and the wife said game of cards we agreed and played.
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