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He had a sign around his neck reading 'I am observing a vow of silence'and was instructed to keep his head down, and walk with small steps, buthe wondered if he could convince anybody. It was explained to him thathe was not pretending to be a woman, just not to be a man. There was noroom for a man in a convent.When he was out of his room he carried a bible and a rosary, and stuck tothe shadows. In the dining hall he had a place with the nuns on thetable below the window, with his back to the young women. The nuns wereold and quiet and spoke only of prayer or administration issues when theydid speak. Whereas behind him the young women who there for refugerather than prayer were in raucous conversation and occasional laughter.They would recognize him immediately if he did not keep his head down.To hide in his room was not an option. Only the old and the sick wouldnot take their meals in the dining room.The other place where he could go without fear of recognition, was thechapel. . I turned 20 last year and most of the guys I knew around my age were so self-centered and in my experience that usually equated into "selfish" in bed too. So that made me think about my hero dad even more, and made me wonder how dad was with mom and whether they had had a good sex life. I had to hope that there was something better out there than I'd had to date.I know that dad hadn't dated much since mom died and that he seemed lonely in a private sort of way. And while sitting there on Christmas Eve, looking into the fire, it occurred to me that my father had probably been celibate for more than 5 years by then. I couldn't imagine being celibate for five weeks, much less five years.I glanced at dad sideways, wondering if he masturbated and how often he did it. Surely he must do it, everyone did, even when having regular sex. The thought of dad lying on his bed masturbating, his hand gripping his dick and groaning and cumming made me squirm in my chair. That was a weird feeling.
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