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"However, as time passed, and I got more comfortable functioning as a woman, I began to take that sort of stuff in my stride. "In other words, Gale, I just figured that it more or less went with the territory, and that I was either going to have to like it, or lump it. So, since I am basically a pragmatist at heart, I made the conscious decision that I wasn't just going to like it, I was going force myself to reach a point where I enjoyed the hell out of it." "So, I take it that somewhere along the line, you reached that point?" "Reached it, and, I might add, surpassed it. "That's to say that I now take great amounts of perverse pleasure whenever men eye me up one side and down the other." "You do, do ya?" "You bet that well rounded and nicely hung tush of yours, I do. "I mean, I whole heartily agree with that old saying, 'If you've got it. Flaunt it'. "And, you'd best believe I do. At damn near every opportunity..." "You're terrible." "You're right. I am. And, damn proud of. I became ashamed of myself, and my shameparalyzed me even further. Shame..., that's anger turned inwardisn't it? Too weak and immature to deal with the real sources ofmy anger, I started to let my shame consume me. I was ashamed ofthe way I let Thornton treat me, I was ashamed of the way Itreated Cynthia and our staff, and I was ashamed because I didn'tdo anything about any of it.Once upon a time, everyone in the office found me kind, pleasant,and funny. The older women pampered me, the younger ones pursuedme. Some even caught me for awhile. People would actually smilewhen I showed up. They asked me to do things with them. I hadbeen a source of comfort and confidence to them because they knewI would never hurt them and that I would understand when theywere down. Now, no one wanted anything to do with me.My only outlet, feeble as it was, was to embezzle money fromBob's profits - his bonus was going down because of it. That'swhy I did it and that's what I enjoyed most about it. I had.
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