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"She swallowed, and then said "Um ... okay, I guess."I think it was about then that I just slipped into my teenaged persona as Cupid. Don't ask me why it happened. Maybe all those dry years finally caught up with me."You're much too beautiful and sensitive to have to suffer bruises at the hands of an impatient ruffian like him," I said.I saw her pupils dilate, and her eyebrows relaxed just a little."Would you like me to get you a towel, or are you going to give him another chance?" I asked."Another chance?" she asked, her voice high."Men can learn. You just have to be patient with them," I said. "If you were comfortable with it, I'd be happy to give him some pointers on how to treat a woman." Dad!" gurgled Bobby."Tell him to shut up," I said softly, looking right into her eyes."Shut up, Bobby," she said almost instantly, her eyes never leaving mine."Courtney!" he gasped.Now her eyes left mine and pinned him."I said shut up, Bobby!" She looked back at me. "I think your father and I are. Again he asked his wife Margaret, a little louder this time, "Do ya notice anything different NOW?"Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?" Nope, she said, I haven't a clue."IT'S HANGING DOWN, CAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.Shoulda bought a hat."These are compliments of BobRedneck Etiquette1. Never take a beer to a job interview.2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive aU-Haul to the funeral home.DINING OUT1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour.
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