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I certainly did and that is the truth, but not you. You were doing what you loved and when someone needed you, you went. I should have honored my vows to you to remain faithful and I didn't. To this day, I don't know why other than letting myself drink too much when with another man who turned out to be a predator. That was my failing, Carmine, not yours."And just so you know, Carmine, Hugo promised to come after you when you got out. He was talking about civil court and suing you for all he could get. That's another thing for which I'm responsible. So you see, you didn't fail us; I did."Carmine and I talked for the rest of the evening, until Ruben came back. We resolved nothing but we did begin to understand each other better. It was strange, partly because at times it seemed so natural for him to be sitting there talking to me. At other times, the differences between the man he was and was now came through. I found the new Carmine to be as wonderful as the older version but that. And so I did.I headed to Amsterdam for an evening last March. I had just broken up with my girlfriend and I wanted distraction. It was a mild Sunday evening so I went for a wander through the Red-light district. I contemplated paying a visit to one of the many stunning women who decorate the windows along the canals, but the thought of it just left me all a bit cold. I can’t shake the thought that sleeping with a lady for money is all just a little...lacking in passion? I sure if you pay enough they will be more than willing to turn the passion up to 11, but my mind will already be suspicious of their motives and knowing myself I will lose interest. Besides, my sex life has always been more than fulfilling. And then it hit me... I saw a rainbow flag above a sex-shop with a cinema. Maybe I should go inside and see who’s there...? My heart started to beat faster, and I felt more alive than at any other stage of my walk through the Wallen...So, after a furtive glance to make sure nobody.
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