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It was still early only 8:30 so the place was practically deserted. Ordered a local beer and sat back to watch the TV. Long about 9 a few regulars started drifting in. From the looks they were faculty as opposed to students.Nothing much happened, the jukebox kicked in then about 9:30 a young black man walked in and looked the crowd over. I looked back, he walked over to the stool to the right of me and asked: “Is this seat taken?”“Nope,” I replied, “help yourself.”He ordered a beer, same local stuff as I was drinking, and then introduced himself. Responding we exchanged first names. He went on to explain he was a grad student at the university and had taught a class that evening. While not as old as I he did seem a bit long in the tooth even for a grad student. Then he went on to explain that he had gone in the military fresh out of high school, preferring to volunteer rather than be drafted. This gave him a choice of training, he choose tanks, since there were very few. Just asthose around us might not believe that we are crossdressers we ourselveshave trouble believing it. I can still remember the first time I shaved mylegs and the mixed feelings it brought up in me. Shaving your legs isindicative of a commitment to crossdressing, a commitment that makesdenial difficult if not impossible. I was giddy at having shaved my legsyet struggled with accepting my true self. Many if not most of us areperfectly normal guys who routinely participate in manly activities butnow and then we cross the gender border or perhaps more tellingly dancearound it. Denial is also dependent on just how good we look whilecrossdressed. This is a theory but bear with me. Those of us who arefortunate enough to look good, great, and passable are, in my own opinion,less likely to engage in denial. Those of us who unfortunately look likelinebackers in sacks are more likely to engage in denial. How do I knowthis? Firsthand experience. Most of us operate alone, crossdressing.
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