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If I went into the bathroom and washed it off, my pants would take hours to dry. There was no way I was going to be able to clean it up. I would have to walk out and hope nobody noticed. When the check came, I tossed the money onto the tray, leaving enough for a colossal tip. I whispered to Janie, "Walk out ahead of me, and for God's sake stay close."She smiled, batted her pretty green eyes, and said in a voice as sweet as molasses, "Oh no, Brandon honey, you go first." I walked out with her behind me, the mess on my pants in plain view. People sitting near the aisle could probably smell it as I passed. That's one restaurant I will never be able to go into again.THE OTHER APARTMENTThe first time Janie came to my apartment, I was showing her the view, and she exclaimed, "Hey, I know some people in that building over there. Dan and Michele. I've been to their place. I bet they can see in here." I didn't think anything more about it until a week or so later. I was at home. ..” – he waves us away as he talks to his friend. Then we watch as the woman walks us along the hall to her bedroom, talking back over her shoulder. “I don’t think the lockdown is bothering them – they just play playstation all fucking day – you could set a bomb off in the street outside, so long as the internet doesn’t go down, they wouldn’t leave their rooms! Kelly’s in her room, reading, we won’t see her...”Cut to her bedroom, her sitting on the edge of her bed, talking direct to camera. Looking from the lens to Charley, to Thor, and back, as she talks – never quite sure who she should be telling the story to.“Hello ... My name is Maggie Craggs ... I fucking hate that ... When I was married, I was Maggie Lennon, that was much better ... But I wasn’t keeping that cunt’s name!” She pulls a face as if to say ‘urrggghhh’. “I’m 51 years old, and I’m from Nottingham.”“Are you a fan of the show... ?” Asks Charley.Maggie nods, “Yeah ... I like to watch the show ... The episodes with the.
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