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Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement!That's when I thought -Hang on just a minute!I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.I shouted - "Where you off to Charlie?"He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb."Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said,"That's gonna be a bit awkward init?" Not really." he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she. He was baby-sitting (different house) and told me to stop by. When I got there I found out that he wasn’t baby-sitting, he was house-sitting. He had me in and started asking me questions about my sexual fantasies. He told me to answer all of his questions if I wanted him to keep my secret. After he questioned me for awhile, he told me that he wanted to see me dressed as a hooker. He told me to go up to the bedroom and find some clothes to wear. I was shaking as I climbed the stairs. When I reached the bedroom I found the dresser of the couple who owned the house. I opened the dresser and was dismayed to find that the fat woman that lived here had ugly underwear.My new friend came up behind me and was angry to find me still dressed as a boy. He told me that I had better get some girl clothes on fast. I whined because the fat woman’s didn’t turn me on’ clothes, He told me he didn’t care because this was about him! He told me to be ready in five minutes. I was very scared but I quickly.
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