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“I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out. He explained that genies don’t give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover ever.”“Tough choice,” said her friend. “Which one did you choose?”“That’s the thing. I can’t remember.”Woman Like ManNymphomaniac (nim(p)-fə-ˈmā-nē-yak)n. A women as obsessed with sex as the average man.Love WinningsQ: Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino?A: Because he’s a Valentine’s Card Shark.Cute AnglesIf you were a triangle you’d be acute one.My Better HalfQ: What did the toast say to the butter on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re my butter half!A Good Looking MuffinQ: What did one muffin say to the other on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re my stud-muffin!One in a MillionQ: What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re one in a melon!Beating HeartsQ: What did one beet say to the other on. I wanted very much to read a couple of those books. My curiosity was nearly overwhelming. But I decided that would be a bad idea. I may be a pervert at heart, but I am an honest person. I pushed the box back where I found it and closed the flaps back down. I finished up in the office and went back to cleaning the house.I did everything I was supposed to do. But today I did it in a fog. I could not get those books out of my mind! Finally I put my cleaning supplies away and picked up the check that Mr. Ford left for me on the kitchen island.I swear I was on my way out the door. But I couldn't do it. I was certain he wouldn't miss a couple of books. I would return them next week and he'd never know the difference. I ran back upstairs and picked out two interesting titles from the box. I hid them in my bag and left quickly, locking up with my key.I guess I should tell you something about myself. As I said, I just turned nineteen. I was living with my mother until a couple of months ago.
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