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”Me: “What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?”A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.His friends see him and ask “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”He replies “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle”His friend responds “A turtle? How are you supposed to be a turtle? And who is that woman on your back?”The man replies “Oh, that’s Michelle” –Thank Phoenix for the following. Three men were travelling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London, England. One man was from the US, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.The American began by saying: “I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do all the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert.”Then the man. She had a bottle of water in her hand, which she gave me, and told me that I shouldn't be working so hard after a head injury. I smiled and took the water trying to think of something snappy in response. Not thinking of anything I drained half the bottle of water and told her thank you. I noticed that she was still wearing the sports bra and shorts combination. I also noticed that the sweat from her fast-paced cutting had completely soaked both. I also realized that these were actually more conservative than they looked across the street and looked to be some sort of a running outfit.I said, "That was some workout you were giving yourself with the mower a bit ago."Millie smiled, "I thought somebody was watching, actually I saw you out of the corner of my eye but when I start something I like to keep up the pace and get it done. I burn more energy that way and it's good exercise."I squinted up at the sun and said, "Well to be honest, you wore me out just watching you. At my age I have.
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