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’ He knew it was the wrong thing to say before he said it. It brought back to many memories of last night and the discussion he was hoping to postpone. He didn’t know why he said it. It just came out. Seemed to be happening a lot lately. Sure enough, the minute the stupid words popped out of his stupid mouth, the laughter stopped and the smile disappeared from her eyes. Sitting up, she crossed her legs and stared down at her hands, waiting for him to say it first. He obliged her. ‘So…you know we have to talk about what happened last night.’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘And you know that we can’t…’ ‘Yeah, I know.’ ‘It’s not that I don’t…find you attractive or…’ ‘Jason. I know. I get it.’ Then she stood up and walked to the phone in the kitchen. Somehow he didn’t think she got it at all. ‘Who are you calling?’ ‘A friend. She’ll come and pick me up, bring me to my car.’ Now he knew she didn’t understand. He didn’t want to not be with her. It had nothing to do with her. It was just too complicated. He pushed. Neither one of them have any hangups about sex. I think either one would have sex in the middle of a football stadium in broad daylight if I asked, and not care about any consequences."After another pause, Rhonda asked, "So ... what's the problem? You seem to be describing a teenaged boy's fantasy come true."I turned to look into her face. Her eyes were calm, and her face was nearly expressionless. She was waiting for my answer, and I could tell that she wasn't going to give me an answer, although she might guide me in its direction in some Socratic way."The problem is that I don't know how to deal with what the sex means to my relationship with ... well, mainly my fiancée, but also with my ... slave. With my fiancée, sex is all wrapped up in love, and what we mean to each other, and how we treat each other. With my slave, it seems to just be sex ... just raw passion ... some adrenaline, some endorphins, some sweat and heavy breathing, and an explosion or two at the end." Do you have.
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