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He says he needs to go dark. I agree. I delete and block him from my chat program.*****Losing Patrick like this has been difficult. I'm so used to having him to talk to that not having him there is a huge hole in my day.I'd be flat-out lying if I didn't acknowledge that the funk I've been in for the past month isn't, in large part, due to this relationship ending. I know I've been mourning the loss of him; I feel the loss to my core.He knew me. He knew my thoughts, my quirks, my body... sometimes better than I did. He has been my best friend, he's made my days bearable, filled in what my husband is unwilling to give me. Going even two days without talking to him was rare. Cutting him off is the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time. I miss him a lot. Really, really a lot. I fight the idea of making contact every single day.And the kicker is that I can't say for sure that I would refuse him if he came back yet again. If his marriage ended and he was free to start a relationship,. I had never thought that I would ever be attracted to another woman, sexually or otherwise,until i first saw Miss Anderson.I could get my mind off of her no matter how hard i tried. ‘Laura,Laura? Helloooo, Earth to Laura.’ Jenny said as she waved her hand back and forth in front of my face. Huh? Oh, sorry Jen.’ I said distractedly. ‘That’s okay. I was just telling you that my mom is gonna be working late tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me.’ Jenny said. ‘Oh. Uh, no I can’t. I have a…date tonight.’ I said after some quick thinking. ‘Oh yeah!? With who? Come on, give me the 411.’ Jenny said almost gleefully. ‘I…uh…’I don’t want to talk about it here.’ I said jerking my head at all the other k**s walking past us. Jenny understood what I meant and said, ‘Alright, but you’ve gotta give me all the details later.’ I just nodded my head which Jenny took as my agreement and changed the topic to our regular gossip. This worked great because not only did it get her.
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