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She was so fucking beautiful it was distracting.I mean it was almost unfair. I completely lost my composure. It was puzzling, how could anyone be that perfect. As we got to know each other I found I really liked her -- as a person. In fact I think I overcompensated, I convinced myself we were just friends, that as pretty as she was somehow I was not interested in that way. It was clearly a defense mechanism. I mean I'm a pretty good looking guy but she was taller, better looking and had an amazing personality. I did not think I had a chance with her so I took the Just Friends route. The thing is Just Friends became BEST Friends. Over the next 4 years we became inseparable. Between phone calls, e-mails, and spending most of our free time together it was incredible. I remember teasing her about her lousy taste in men. Similarly she seemed to absolutely loathe every girl I dated. I think by Sr. year we were starting to figure out why none of our relationships seemed to work out. Every. I’ve wondered what your life was like outside of these walls, what your sense of humor was, what your hobbies were. I’ve usually dismissed these thoughts as mere idle noise within my mind. You were the girl that I never talked to, that sat at the desk on the other side of the room.That’s why I was surprised when you invited me to your graduation party. We were strangers passing by each other in the halls all four years of our adolescence. I felt like I would be out of place there, a deer caught in headlights. I didn’t know you, any of your inner circle, or your family, but something in me just couldn’t say no to your soft-spoken voice, so I decided to go. You told me to bring my bathing suit, it was a pool party.I arrived at your house later that night, and your backyard appeared to be a ghost town. There was a table whose only company was a six pack of Coors Light, and sun chairs left to tan alone. There you were, in a navy blue bikini, lounging in your pool. I assumed everyone else.
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