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”“You could write a book about it,” I sighed sarcastically.“All the boys wanted to kiss me then, I was quite a catch,” she said, “Not like now, back then they fought over me, bare knuckles in the Red Lion car park, Tom Bradbury and Phil Thompson, Phil knocked Tom’s tooth out and got himself arrested and Tom went home and Mike Grimshaw took me home in his Mini Van and we stopped in Handley woods.”“Really?” In sighed.“There’s no room in a Mini van, he had his builders tools in the back,” she explained.“No I suppose not,” I agreed.“And it was raining,” she said, “So we ended up fucking in the church porch, that was before they put the security light in, you couldn’t do it now anyway they lock the outside door at six in summer and when it gets dark in winter.“Fascinating,” I agreed.“It all changed when our Elsie was born, she sucked me tits out of shape and me husband saw me as Elsie’s mum and stopped bothering me and started screwing that Gladys from the post office.” she continued, “I. Nicole looked like a different girl from the one I had met the other day. She now looked provocative, radiating sex. This was not the Nicole from church."Oh hi," she said. "It's Kurt from Duke, right?" Yes and you are Rey from Jakku," in an effort to be humorous."Are you one of those Star Wars crazies, or what?" As I mentioned, Nicole is smart. She had quickly caught onto my Star Wars reference. She wasn't amused."I'm here to bring you this," and handed her the box."What's this?" she asked with a touch of sarcasm."It's for you." Oh, so you brought me a present. How sweet." More sarcasm."Look Kurt, my girlfriends and I are having an overnight. Maybe you can come back another time." Sure," I replied amiably, covering up my disappointment. "Let me know what you think of the souvenir I brought." I suppose it's a Hans Solo blaster," she quipped. Apparently, that was her attempt at being funny.I chuckled and said, "No, Nicole. It's safe."At that, I turned and walked to my car thinking,.
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