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This time, I get adventurous and try the Unitarian-Universalists. They’re close-by, they have a nine-o’clock service and I’m thinking maybe that, unlike the Methodists, their average age might be a little under eighty. I don’t know that much about the Unitarians but I hear they’re on the liberal side. Maybe their preacher won’t be quite as sleep-inducing as the local Methodist guy had been a few weeks back.So I find a place close to the front -- I’m in the fourth row -- and sure enough, their pastor is a youngish looking guy, partially balding but sturdy, and he’s telling us about how God shouldn’t be thought of as this “anthropomorphic being,” but rather simply as a “creative force” in the universe.I thought that sounded pretty sensible and modern, but a little while later, after the guy quit sermonizing, he says, “Let us pray,” and everybody bows their heads and he starts out, “Oh, Great Creative Force...” and I kind of sputter a little bit to keep from just laughing out loud,. Sarah was not amused, “I am not amused.” she said, “One minute I’m signing Budgie the Helicopter books in Poundland in Kensington High street and then I’m bundled into the boot of a Range Rover.”“Still flogging the books?” Charles chuckled, “Should use them for firewood.”“We are,” Andy said, “We have five bedrooms full of the damned things not that we are living together.”“Or having sex,” Sarah sighed.“Oh cut the crap, just sort him out will you, he can’t be on TV with a giant woody can he?” Charles ordered, “Cluster round look outwards so the Papper-fuckng-nazis can’t see and let Sarah sort him out.”“And if I don’t want to?” Sarah queried.“I’m the fucking king so it’s treason.” he replied.“Good point,” Sarah agreed.They clustered round so no one could see and somehow Sarah made Andy very happy.“Happy ending all done,” Sarah announced with a smile on her face.“And - Now - in - the - distance - the sound - of - Police - Sirens,” the BBC announcer announced like he had a twelve inch.
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