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I could see the colour of her face go from red to pale, as I explained the switch, the delicate difference in lovemaking and companionship, the therapy, and the Kinsey scale. ‘But you’re not entirely gay, the test says...you’re also drawn to men, focus on the small percentage,’ she rebuked, adding that she’d talk to my father. What still resonates with me, however, is how she used very few words to correlate law regulations in India with her fear as a parent. ‘The government doesn’t support your status, how do you expect me to approve?’ she explained calmly. ‘Getting by life as a woman is difficult as is. I can’t imagine how you’d negotiate being a woman and gay in India.’ This was in 2013, when the Supreme Court upheld 377, criminalising homosexual sex. In some ways, it was the best coming-out encounter I could have hoped for—we both cried, she articulated her concerns and listened to mine, and continues to play the denial card ever so often. I’ve made my peace with their unspoken. They were not the same self centred individuals some were at the start of our journey. Perhaps the lessons would be remembered and they would fit into the world around them better.Inside the house a little girl, Kirsay was crying. She had awoken with her usual nightmare about her father beating her. This was usually prophetic for the man usually came in and beat the child to keep her quiet. I put Peter into my chair and walked down the crowded hallway and found the girl in a room with her other half sisters. She immediately stopped crying and went into a panic at seeing me. I picked her up with a small blanket and took the quivering child outside to my chair.Kirsay was so frightened that her bladder let go and I had to hold it for her. I got her to squat on the grass and removed my control and a small flood ensued. I relaxed her muscles and allowed the remainder to leave her.She was about four. She had dark hair like her father and a pretty face like her mother. A small scar on her.
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