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I wanted her from that moment." Well," explained Cheryl, "When she first met Zak she fell for him in the same way. She's told me since that it was a biological urge – very primitive. She never had the rapport with him that she had with you. Even after she married him, they never really fitted together. But he convinced her that he was a different man now, and she fell for it. Needless to say she is mortified that he took her in a second time." I don't follow." I think when she fell for you and it was so much deeper and intimate than with Zak, she was ashamed she had fallen for him before, out of lust. She thought she should have waited – you were so much better for her." So what are you asking me?" Ged suspected she was asking him to just go back to her. That would not happen. Her response surprised him."She needs to clear up things with you. Obviously now she knows you were innocent she's beating herself up about it. She's going downhill fast now she's seen how she's been abused by. And I kept the paper route and the Saturday delivery job. Those would be, I vowed, my future tickets back to New York. I started a diary, but two months later I had little in Memphis that I considered worth remembering, so I threw it away.Within three days of arriving at home I typed fifteen- and twentypage letters to Martha and mailed both within a week. I spent a week searching for a thank-you card for her and for Ronnie, and on the inside of Martha's card I wrote "Love You. Steven."She answered both letters with one. As usual, she handwrote only two or three pages. I had grown to expect as much, especially in light of her workload. Her letter ended with, "P.S.: Ronnie sends her love. She wants you to come back. And Marilyn (remember Marilyn?) thought you were cute. And, honest, we all miss you. Especially Ronnie. Hon, did you make an impression on her! (wink). Miss your salads. Miss your coffee. Miss you."Her letters had never been markedly intimate. I suppose she thought (and I.
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