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It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive aU-Haul to the funeral home.DINING OUT1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to"bruise" the fruit of the vine.2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table ... no matter how good his manners are.PERSONAL H YGIENE1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to. Security cameras.’ ‘I’m not plunging in fingers so what has anyone looking at the tape have to beef about?’ ‘I-I really don’t know.’ ‘I didn’t think so. You romantic types are only good at the summit. You like to avoid the valleys and smaller hills in the trials and tribulations of getting there?’ ‘Tom, you have expressed that wonderfully.’ ‘Don’t fuss Shona. It’s just how I see it. Now please pull your panties aside so I can slip in a couple of fingers.’ ‘Yes Tom.’ In the apartment Shona installed Tom in her bedroom and then went out and returned with champagne. ‘Beer?’ ‘I’ll get some tomorrow.’ ‘That’s fine. Undress while I watch.’ ‘Oh Tom, I’m forty-three and have long lost my girly shape. My tits actually hang out the sides when I’m being fucked unless I remember to gather them in.’ ‘Oh way out,’ Tom grinned, his erection now bursting to emerge. The nipples were unbelievably large — thumb size, well, getting that way. He sucked them and Shona groaned, patting his hair and moaning.
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