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I was always the kid who, when the sign said ‘no this, that, or the other thing permitted’ would immediately do whatever was prohibited to see what would happen. I needed to know why, always. Now some people don’t spit at all – they think it is gross. I guess it is a question of your circumstances and upbringing. The Japanese, who are forever spitting everywhere, think that our habit of expelling snot balls into hankies that we carefully fold and put back into our pockets is gross. They have a point. Other people spit, but not on the crowded sidewalks of New York. If your aim is off by a few degrees you could hit somebody, and they might respond by beating you to death with their bare hands, a trash can, a newspaper box, or by pushing you into a careening taxi driven by a Egyptian emigrant who has never driven in ice and snow before. I myself have no reservations – under duress, I’m a spitter. You might think I was being particularly dim, or something – I mean, everybody knows that. Did they keep records?The reenactor slumped into a chair, "please don't tell 'em I'm here miss, this stuff isn't real but it weighs the same and the longer you wear it the 'eavier it gets."I nodded conspiratorially."Just five minutes to catch my breath." the reenactor continued, his accent had shifted from cockney to his earlier clipped, received tone.For no apparent reason, the narrator on the screen was no longer in the library talking about masqued balls and was in the dairy demonstrating how butter was made. He had also lost twenty pounds and his receding hairline was suddenly fully thatched."I was just getting interested!" I complained."It's a matter of logical deduction." the youth continued."Balls to butter is logical?" I asked, confused."No, the success rate. In those days infertility was invariably blamed on the woman, which was perhaps no bad thing when at least half the time it was the male equipment that was faulty, so to speak."The youth paused as if his argument was.
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