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It was just so much shit. 4 huge boxes, and I knew I couldn’t hide them forever. I was fucking stupid, and to follow up on that, I was so stupid that I didn’t even sort the tapes. I just picked up two of them and tossed them without ever opening them. The collection seemed endless and I was moving on with my life. The other 40 or so I hid, in a large box and a smaller one, and they sat there in the garages and attics of the places I lived until 2008 when I got divorced, mostly forgotten, and never once viewed in those 7 ½ years. Late one night, a newly single, lonely older version of the bartender opened that box, and began the process of salvaging the nights they held. Popping a tape in of a girl you haven’t seen or thought of in 10 years or so was intense. Much like those guys back in the day, my heart stopped as I watched Sarah climb in a long-gone bed. I watched and ended up staying up all that night, even calling out of work the next day to continue the journey. Sadly, many of. “Sarah…” I sit down on my couch in the study. “What is it?”“Dad it’s nice of you to be concerned…but it’s really nothing to worry about.” She’s still in the doorway.“Your face tells me that it is something to worry about. You’re obviously upset by it.”“So…what are you going to do about it?!”Ouch…that hurt. Yes what can I do? Susan has made me aware on several occasions how impotent I am at being able to fix a woman’s hurt feelings.“I don’t know…maybe if you can tell me I can help…” I don’t sound confident.She may not be confident I can help…but she comes over to the couch anyway and sits down at one end opposite to me. “It’s Craig…” Craig is the latest man on Sarah’s scene. In the last six months she’s been dating more.“We’re fighting…” I can see a tear in the corner of one eye. “Oh…can I ask what about?”“No…you can’t help…and besides… it’s between he and I.” “Sarah…I know you are getting older and becoming an adult…and you can handle most things on your own…but you can still talk.
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