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I had asked her out on a date, about two weeks in, but she wasn’t ready for that, insisting that she wanted to be friends. Another two weeks passed before I asked again. Again she refused.I thought for sure that she was just sensitive about her stutter, and that she just wasn’t comfortable enough with me, but I could feel myself falling for her, wanting more than just words on a screen.It all came to a head one Friday night. I had asked her again, this time being more insistent.[TLH] Why won’t you go out with me? We get along great, we laugh, we cry. You know more about me than anyone in the world.[Amykins] I told you, Leo, I am not ready to date. Can we just drop it, please?[TLH] I don’t want to upset you, but I get the feeling you don’t trust me, that you think in person that I won’t like you because of the stutter. You don’t talk at school, I get that, but you know me. You know I care about you.[Amykins] Leo, no. I am sorry, maybe I led you on, maybe I made you think there was. Just before I removed my wig ‘She’ swore she would never want to do that again, but secretly she knew it was a grand lie and that being fucked like a whore was now a part of her. It would be years before the second actual fuck from a real person with a penis. As the school year began I tried to forget and part ways with my whorish alter ego. I purged and disposed of my things in cycles that occurred several times only lead back to acquiring new things at great cost.Mid-way through the next summer, while I was struggling to pass summer school and make up for failed classes, Mr. Carlton was visited by the Sheriff’s department and a week later I was told that he was arrested in the morning just after the school bus drove off. A week later my mom and dad sat me down with me and asked I had been in any contact with the estranged and now arrested Mr. Carlton. Without a beat and in what must have been a convincing enough manner I lied and said no, and that I barely knew him. This was.
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