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The majority of my friends found out that I’m a lesbian after having what I call an ‘interrogation session’ over at the local Starbucks. I generally kept my love interests on the down low because I’ve gotten a few not so nice replies after doing so. I only thought it was fair to them, and to me to be open about it though. While sipping my overpriced medium, sorry grande, cappuccino I was bombarded with the following questions: “Were you always a lesbian?” “Do you like anyone we know from school?” “Would you really bring a girl to prom?”“If you go, are you going to wear a tux, and your date a dress?” And of course, “How do lesbians even have sex?”Face palm. All I could think to myself at that point was, "If they thought just sticking a penis in a vagina would give them the most earth shattering orgasm ever, they had a lot to learn." I was then assigned the role of being the LGBT ambassador of the group, and I have to say it could be really frustrating sometimes. At least I can thank. With a little more time I know I can explain it to you. I'm really so close. YES! So CLOSE. Work that tongue, you bitch,... AYYYYY!"Those interested in a broader, if somewhat popular, treatment of issues of self reference, should see "Godle, Escher, Bach" by Douglas R. Hofstadter. The rest of you, who may be tiring of this postmodernist horseshit by now, can go right on to the story below.I know a lot a people have been wondering why Celeste has withdrawn "temporarily" from publishing the Celestial Reviews. I don't suppose anyone actually believes the phony explanation she put out in CR 310. Hard disk crash. Haa! The story is a lot more complicated. Incredibly, it started with the marital problems of a minor pornwriter, "Homer Vargas," thus... Homer loved his Angela.He loved her deeply, totally. She was his light, his life. Even after thirteen years of marriage, she still had the smashing figure of a woman in her twenties. People constantly expressed amazement that she was old enough.
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