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I had never felt so humiliated. Peter, who had a paper sign in his hand, came up to us with a surprised look on his face. “God Jane, you went the whole way with him didn't you. He looks like a real girl.” “He does, doesn't he?” replied Jane with a smile. “Now let’s get back to work. You,” she said pointing at me,” put this sign around your neck and stand next to the front window.” I put the sign around my neck, only glancing at the words, this is what happens to shoplifters, and stood next to the window, and for the next hour endured the laughter and mocking smiles of the people who ventured into the store. I spent most of the time with my head bowed down, but occasionally I lifted my head and glanced about. I noticed that Jane had left the shop. She must have gone to the back room, I thought to myself. Just then to my shock, Jane re-entered the shop wearing a bright yellow netball skirt. My knees went weak. What was she playing at? Was she trying to make me feel worse? It didn't. ‘No, oh god, what is happening?’ she exclaims as she collapses her full weight on you. You feel your face get drenched with a colorless, odorless fluid, clearly not urine. Rather, her water has broken, perhaps from the stress of the sex or that last ass slap, regardless you are drenched from the neck up in amniotic fluid. You push her off of you. ‘Oh my god, what was that?’ you shout in panic. ‘The baby is ready to come out. Can you take me to the hospital?’ ‘Oh my god, the baby’s ready?’ you stammer. ‘Did I cause that? Wait is the baby mine? I was the last one to have sex with you so does that make me the father?’ She stares at you dumbfounded, ‘Are you really that dumb?’ She reaches over to the nightstand and picks up a phone. You cannot hear her conversation as your head is still trying to go through mental notes of high school health class…You weren’t using a condom and now a baby is coming. Of course you are the father. You come out of your trance when you see Claire come.
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