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5:30 and the second followed suit. It seemed I was destined for a night in front of the tv and I settled down on the sofa with my third beer. Almost as I cracked the can, and as if she knew, Christine text. "Hello you. What you up to tonight? I haven't heard from you since we last got together". She was right, I hadn't even so much as text since and deep down I did feel slightly bad about it. Fortunately she didn't seem too upset. As I drafted my response a follow up came through "I thought if you were going out I could come round when you got home drunk and horny". I wasn't drunk yet, maybe a little tipsy, but I was most definitely horny. I replied explaining the situation and rather than drag it out unnecessarily invited her round to share the evening. She promptly accepted and said she would set off immediately. Don't play it too cool Christine! I thought. Moments later my phone buzzed again. I assumed it would be Christine and became excited at the thought of what she might have. I caught them on their second pass by the house and quickly introduced myself.They stopped to chat, after introducing themselves. Then as we chatted, one of them took notice of my voice synthesizer and asked what it was that I was holding on to.“It’s a voice synthesizer,” I proudly replied.“A what?” Asked one of the young ladies.“A voice synthesizer,” I replied. “It helps to disguise a voice.”I placed it up close to my mouth and spoke into it.“Sam I am not,” I said, “But Sam I wish I was.”Both ladies fell silent as it dawned on them that I was their mysterious Halloween stalker.Then, suddenly, one of them said “Oh Shit!”I smiled as I leaned against my car. Her hands covered her mouth, as she haltingly exclaimed, “Oh….my….God!”I extended my hand with the voice synthesizer in it.“Here,” I said, “It works really well.”“Oh my God!” I simply smiled, crossing my arms in front of me, like a Cheshire cat that had caught a mouse.“Don’t worry,” I said, “I now have things under control. I.
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