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"Hey, Skipper, you look just like youraunt. Wanna be my girlfriend?"Startled at the amount of misinformation embodied in this suggestion,Kelly just stared at him."Sit in the middle," Pete ordered, pulling Kelly toward him. "Andbetter buckle up, I'm a dangerous driver." Kelly tried to pull away."You're shy, aren't you?" noted Pete.Kelly decided it was safe to nod to that while he fumbled with the belt."I like shy girls," Pete went on. "They don't talk too much and theyalways agree with whatever you say." He looked at Kelly, noddingemphatically until he got a confused nod in return. "So, you didn'tanswer me earlier. You gonna be my girlfriend?" He nodded encouragingly."Can't," said Kelly. "I'm a boy."Pete roared. He was still laughing when Richard came back from leavingthe overnight bag in the house and returning with a smaller canvas tote.Pete explained to his brother, "You know what she said? I asked her ifshe wanted to be my girlfriend and she said she was a boy!"How had these two. Unlike Melanie, I can't get too enthused at the idea of a mouthfulof knob-snot (or any other orifice full, for that matter). Eventually,however, I landed a job with a stunts outfit, imaginatively called'Cunning Stunts Inc', the Inc bit slightly spoiling the Spoonerism. Thename was a nod in the direction of a long-gone foul comedian disc jockeycalled Kenny Everett, and it had been arrived at by mutual agreementbetween the two founder stuntmen Kenny Kinnell and Toby Everett. In thegame, Kenny was usually known as 'Fur', and Toby as Hamlet. It took me afurther five seconds to work that one out, as in 'To-by or not To-by', Furcame instantly. God, there are some comedians about, aren't there?I had to think about a stage name, I'd been Titania Kieva in the ballet,but that didn't seem to work as a stunt girl. I toyed with returning to myreal name, Mary Hough (that's pronounced 'Huff', by the way), but I'd hadenough of 'Hairy Muff' at school. Poor old Mum: Dad had met her when hewas working.
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