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Without my wife, I felt once again invisible, and as her ashes cooled, I found myself static, neither hot nor cold, neither gaining nor shrinking. I was indifferent to passing seasons or changing fads. Hollow to others, hollow to myself, growing hollow to my growing daughter. Some say I love my wife too much.* * *When she told me she was pregnant, I remember feelings of fear, of being scared that I might be only second to my wife’s affections. As the nine months passed however, an epic rush of plans and preparations, I allowed an excitement to build up that I knew would eventually take over. Details of midwives, maternity wards and mothering became as second nature to me, another part of my studies of life to be appreciated and analysed, and overall I found little to grumble about and much to anticipate in this. Our child. Mine. My wife’s. I had never expected this to happen to me. When we met, our love was so strong that I never dreamed we would want to introduce any. . .(who’s complaining in the back row?!!!!) she started to kiss it… … .. .POW!!!!!! I came like no other other, it being a complete surprise to me!, wave upon wave of lights ran before my eyes, my head spinning, my whole body on fire. It seemed like hours, but was probably only a few seconds before my eyes focused enough to see if I had caused any damage to Karen. Fortunatley I had narrowly missed her completely and had hit the window on the far side of the room with it, leaving just a few drops on the end of my penis. Karen was still holding it, looking slightly baffled. ‘It sure jumped around just then, Dave, and then some. How did you do that?’, she quizzickly asked. ‘Oh THAT, . . . just sorta man stuff’..I passed off the reply as calm as possible. ‘OOOOOOH, it’s going soft, now that’s a NAUGHTY boy’. Karen was still talking to the thing as if I never existed! ‘I can fix THAT, I’m sure’, she admonished the thing again!!!! . .and . . .she placed my penis . . .yep guys . . MY PENIS!.
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