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All I could do was shake him as hard as I could. ‘Dad! Oh my god, Dad! Fucking, wake up! Dad!’ I tried slapping him once in vain to try and snap him out of… Well, being dead. I knew he was a goner, but my brain wouldn’t allow me to accept that. I couldn’t, not after everything that already happened. He couldn’t just do this to me, to Abby, even to my bitch of a mother. I ran to the phone and it seemed like I couldn’t dial 9-1-1 fast enough. I stated my emergency, my address and stayed on the phone with the woman while I cried over my father, shaking him and begging him to wake up. ‘You son of a bitch! How could you? You fucking selfish bastard!’ Was all I could keep yelling at his lifeless form. In the distance I heard the sirens and I hung up the phone, sliding down the wall and letting the rest of my world come slamming down around me and I didn’t even realize the men come in and find us in the room. After that nothing made sense anymore, they couldn’t revive him and I had to. Four days later my stuff arrived in the mail, and in theprivacy of my room, I tried them on. It was so much better than Iexpected that I wanted to leave them on, but didn't dare. If anyone hadpushed common sense to the limit, I had already done that. I had provokedmy parents into making it possible for me to become the girl I wanted tobe, but the only problem that stood in the way of really enjoying it allwas the fact that no matter what, all of my friends were going to findout, and there wasn't anything I could do about that. My friend Clairelived three houses down, and across from her was Max, also a friend ofmine. Just about my only protection was the fact that I could actuallylook like a girl, complete with girl parts that would make me look asreal as any normal girl would. I was risking everything, loss of friends,status and more, but I wanted to be a girl more than anything, andignored every one of my not so subtle internal warnings.The next day was Thursday, and I planned on.
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