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It wasn't working: the mind was picturing him and that woman, finally sober, in a naked, sexually hungry hug.Gross.The throat was aching, the brain as well: he needed more alcohol.What was going on inside him, was that unusual attraction, really a tragedy?He never was that gay man who hates women."I constantly fall in love with women," that's what Michael always used to say, "but sex is a different thing."Sexual attraction for the opposite gender wasn't for him, it's never been for him, yet something was getting messed up.Things do not just get messed up, though.All his life, he advocated for his voice to be heard, for the voice of other people like him to be heard.Being gay, for Michael, was more than just liking men: being gay was a mission, and he was so glad when he found other gay men with the same mission.They created their community and their community became an association, with hundreds of affiliates.Then, the association became their full-time jobs.It was impossible for him. " The girl didn't ask to be sold or bought, neither did the boy for that matter. No more than you did," he reminded me. "I want you to remember that. If you have to be angry, be angry with me." I am angry with you," I pouted, just begging for the strap, but I didn't care."I know you are." Mr. Reiser chuckled. "I let you get away with it too, don't I?" Master ... Please, I just..." I looked at him, pleading with my eyes for something, but even I wasn't sure what exactly."What?" he asked, and I shook my head."I just want to know you still love me." I looked down again, knowing it was more than just that."I do love you," Mr. Reiser said softly. "More than I should. More than I can, Dani ... I want the same things you do." Yes sir," I sighed softly."Next weekend we'll go someplace, alright? Orleans, how about that?" He reached for my hand. "Just the two of us. We'll drive down Friday afternoon and come back Monday morning." Just us?" I squeezed his fingers and looked at him, into his blue.
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