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I'm sure there weremany organizations on campus that would have been great help for me but Icouldn't reach out. A few girls tried to get close but I pushed themaway. I couldn't take a chance to tell them my deepest thoughts for fearof rejection. I also couldn't rely on my mother's dressing room to takethe edge off. My depression darkened and considering all the alcohol Idrank I'm shocked I didn't kill myself. The thought of suicide was aconstant companion but I graduated with decent grades and entered theworkforce. Entry-level work given to all recent college graduates filledmy days. At night, I found an unlikely outlet in video games. Designersgear most games to men but I will never forget the first time I played aLara Croft title. The storyline was set up to tease boys with Lara'simpossibly large breasts but I felt freedom being able to put myself inher role. It's hard to describe unless you are like me but it made mereally happy. I moved from that game to an online. Right, together.’ ‘And so we are,’ agreed Kate, unperturbed. ‘In many ways, we are. But . . . he doesn’t actually own me! And, if I can get a little bit of a thrill by letting a nice-looking boy have a glimpse of something he shouldn’t – well, why not?’ Anne couldn’t think of anything to say and she stared at the road ahead, aware of a tiny germ of unease growing within her. ‘You’re a very beautiful girl, Anne – you must know that. Don’t you get some sort of kick of being aware of men looking at you?’ Anne was torn between an impulse to reject the compliment and respond, honestly, to the question. ‘I suppose,’ she said, finally, ‘I enjoy being looked at – in a general sort of way – but . . .. well, I suppose I feel that parts of me are only for one person.’ ‘Like Clive?’ asked Kate, gently. ‘Well, yes,’ agreed Anne, diffidently. ‘Yes,’ agreed Kate, thoughtfully, then – ‘and you were never . . .tempted by anyone else.” ‘No,’ replied Anne, very positively, and, she realised instantly,.
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