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I explained to my new Master of the abuse I suffered at Dick’s hands. It was a conversation I had had with Dominants before Him, but this time something was drastically different. I felt a closeness to Him like I couldn’t believe. I found that I could tell Him anything and He wouldn’t judge me or feel I was too much trouble. Even though each day these feelings of trust grew, it still took me weeks before I could bring myself to tell Him that I had once enjoyed this now hated and dreaded activity.Dick had taken so much from me, including running off and disappearing with our precious children. It has been years since I have seen those sweet faces. I long and dream of the day we will all be reunited. He has ripped away my sense of safety, my self esteem, trust, and enjoyment in the simplest of things. Each thing I struggle with that has it’s trouble spots originating from his terroristic manipulations, I find that I also struggle with making them hard limits. It is like still allowing. " I said to him, making myself seem a lot less interested and eager than I felt. He laughed again and It made me feel better.We walked and spoke about random stuff, he asked about my dad as most people do, I asked about his career and photography in the magazines and art became a very common topic between us, praising me for my creativity often, but not in a way that made me really suspicious of him. He was very charming and conversation continued to be very fluid. It was even starting to get dark out as we walked along the path back to school and the student dorms which would be closing soon after curfew.We said our goodnights, brief and a bit awkward. I went to bed and slept for a change, well enough so that I was refreshed for Mr. Wolfe's class in the morning.-------Next day-------He wasn't looking at me any more than the other students and it drove me mad. I focused so hard on him, so intensely on how it bothered me that I thought for sure he could feel my rage. It was all I could.
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