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" Chris closed his locker and secured its combination lock."I 'preciate it, dude," Jack said. They bumped fists, and began walking with the rest of the students toward the exit.They were almost free when Jack heard his name being yelled behind him, the squeaky little voice making him cringe. He let out an annoyed breath and turned around. His eyes swept over the sea of students walking toward him, and caught a slight and nerdy looking girl practically mosh her way through the crowd."Jack!" The girl called out again. "Jack, wait!"The girl squeezed her way between two football players to get to him, and would have fallen on her face if Jack hadn't caught her shoulders. She straightened, pushed her rimless oval-lens glasses back on her face with an index finger, and smiled skittishly. Jack wondered if she could look any more cliché."Gina..." Jack said. He didn't bother to mask the impatience in his voice. "Uh, hi..." She suddenly seemed self-conscious, her green eyes roaming beneath her. I never saw myself as a sales clerk helping out in women’s clothing, but you take what you can get on short notice!Walmart hired me on the spot. Had a choice of two openings. A Walmart Greeter or an assistant in the Women’s Jean Dept. I just wanted to tell you myself, just in case your wives or girlfriends come to Walmart to try on jeans.Kinda enjoyed my first day on the job. Now I’m thinking about making it ‘full time’ employment!We all grow old in the end... I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.The biggest lie I tell myself is...”I.
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