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Meetings were difficult, for as he stood there and spoke in front of the group, I could only stare. His eyes always took me to a far away place where there was no reality. Could he feel me staring at him? Could he sense the desire in my gaze? Did he sense my hunger or read the offer my body gave him? Could he see my nipples harden, my breath run short, or the chills run over my body? How could I go on working like this? This man has become my idol, my sex god, my vision of perfection. I knew I could never have him, but I also knew that my dreams and fantasies were mine alone, and nobody could take that away from me. And that was how I had to live my life. By day, we had a work relationship as we strived for the same long term goal. By night, he became my lover, even if only in my dreams. One night, we were together, on a sailboat on the ocean. Water was all around us for miles and miles. The sun was high in the sky as we basked in glory on the upper deck. Walking around naked,. I didn't even hesitate. "Yes! Whatever it is. I'll work, or study -whatever. I'm through being an asshole."Garrity started putting the folders back into the briefcase. "It's goingto be a little of everything. That's all I can tell you. Work, study,good behavior - all of it. It's gonna be tough, but nothing like jail.But I promise you --" he pointed a long finger at me "-- ANY screw-upfrom you from now on, anything, is gonna bring down a world of hurt onyou. Okay?" I nodded. "Everybody knows everybody around here. If thejudge is not pleased with you at any time from now on, you will be sentto Richmond and you will get 'special treatment' there. You know whatthat means?"I shook my head vigorously."It means you won't have a friend in the world inside. Nobody will listenwhen you scream. There are a lot of hard-case guys in there who wouldlove to have a soft boy like you to pass around. Understand?"I was sobbing at that point. "I understand. Please...I'll do anything youwant."Garrity.
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