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" The tears are flowing freely now. I hate how I cry when I'm frustrated and angry. You grab my wrists to stop me hitting you and you pull me against you're body, you wrap you're arms around me tight and hold me as I sob into your chest. You rest you're chin on my head and stroke my hair "Shhhh, its ok now, I'm here and I love you", My stomach does a somersault as it always does when you say those 3 words to me. I love you too I think in my head but I cant say it, not yet, I'm still too mad. You kiss my forehead and down the side of my face, I turn my head away from your kisses. I bury my face in you're chest instead, I close my eyes and take a big, long, deep breath and hold it. I start counting up to 10 then breath out slowly, I can feel some of my anger escape with it. I unfold my hands which I had still held in fists against you, now my hands are flat against your chest. I feel you breathing, its faster than normal, I feel the heat of you're skin through your t-shirt. With my. I tend to gravitate towards partners who are really hard to read. It’s almost like a challenge I seem to want to take on.”“I wonder why,” she says.“I don’t really know,” I say. “I’ve been thinking, maybe it’s a self-sabotaging mechanism. Make it hard on myself, so I can’t succeed.”Amelia takes in my words, a silence hanging over.“That’s very interesting,” she finally says. “I think it’s admirable you’re trying to understand yourself. But you could also be too deep in your head. That’s coming from me!” She laughs.“Yeah, true. I had that issue right before I rang your buzzer.”“Ooh, do tell,” she says.“It was stupid,” I say. “My mind was wandering and trying to form the way I wanted to say my opinions on Marilyn. I was nervous.”“That’s adorable and a little sociopathic. No, I’m just kidding. Nearly everyone does that, to an extent...Are you feeling nervous now?”“A little. But, ya know, in the sense that I’m always a little nervous meeting people, doing new things. You?”“I think...our.
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