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Every body in the village drunk in the pub so you couldn't help but bump in to people.In those days being 13 you had to be clever to get out and stay out and as Richard needed friends I found myself telling my folks I was visiting him. They had this flat and there was a huge room above the shop, all beams and wood, they kept all sorts in there, but weren't allowed to live in it, fire rules or something, it was a bit like a den and my folks knew him and his mother and thought he was all right, me I couldn't stand him but I could use him, you know call in, stay for an alibi and then nip off to my real mates and the girls.The dick head thought I was his mate, made a fuss, so I played it for all it could make me. He got fags, booze, dirty books which he could store in the big room, he even lent money not that he ever saw it back, that's where I think I went wrong.13 was a good age for pumping the meat and I did it a lot, the thoughts of girls cunts and deliberately looking up any skirt. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice."The bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. He attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking,"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland..."You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?"The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland"These are compliments of chuckthe.
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