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I had always denied that but deep down those accusations must have worked on my inner self-doubts. After our first time and my being reluctant to do any more with him, I realized that he had been working on me here and there still. With my eyes wide open now, I could clearly see where I had been misled and hooked. Ashamed at myself I knew that I was lucky that we had been in that accident when we were or by now I would have been the company whore. Shaking and crying, I sat in my kitchen wondering if John would ever be able to forgive me. My undoing had been neglect, but not neglect on John’s part. It had been neglect on my part in trying to have a better relationship with the man I had loved for so long. The ringing of the phone brought me back to the real world. ‘Hello?’ ‘Sue…I…look, I know that I’ve been pretty hard on you lately. I want to try to work things out a bit better than I have been. Could we…uh…look…I want to start all over. Can we do that?’ ‘Start over? Like how? I’m. "I'm still so afraid," she said and moved her head back fractionally. I gently took her hand and guided it under the bedsheet and laid it on tent in my pajama pants. There was a momentary resistance and her breath quickened, but then her fingers bagen to curl around my erection. She was still very conflicted on the emotions spinning in her head. "There is no ease way," I told her."We are different from other mothers and sons." "Is this wrong?" she asked after a lengthy silence as she slowly gathered her thoughts. She shook her head slightly and her eyes turned down towards her hand wrung my erection. "No," I answered her question with a little smile. She suddenly drew her hand away and she looked at me. Her mouth moved but no audible words could be made out. I drew a little closer. "**** me," came a tiny whisper of a voice. "What?" "**** me. It has to happen ths way. PLease. Yes, I love you and I ache for you but I can't do it willingly. Not now. You have do get my past.
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