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"I'll stay, please." She likes when I say please. I lifted my eyes to see her smile. "Good," she said. "I'm glad. You know I love you." And there it was. Her love for me, as undying and eternal as mine for her. A love so deep I could never stand to leave. So much has changed these five years since our honeymoon. We've grown into our relationship together. And part of that relationship is her offer of the choice, and my decision to stay, every time. Early on, of course, I entertained the idea of leaving. But I imagined life without her, minus the close companionship, minus her supportive friendship, her easy familiarity with me. Her acceptance of me for who I am, and my acceptance of her. I tried to see myself without the love I feel and was unable. I tried to see myself living without the thrill and excitement she provides and find I am unwilling. So even in the early days, when there was bitterness and rebellion, anger and hostility, I would stay. Back then I would sometimes sulk. It’s nothing out of the ordinary for everyone from work meeting for a drink at a nearby bar. Without any questions from my husband, I was suddenly free to spend some extra time at the office. The gin worked almost instantly and we were soon talking about marriage and divorce…And sex.“Tell me to be quiet if I’m out of line but you like sex, don’t you?”The question made me laugh, partly from the buzz but mainly because it made me a bit nervous. I knew where he was going with his question.Still, with a bit of nervous laughter, I said, “Of course I like sex, Robert.”My words just kind of hung there as we looked at each other and I was beginning to blush. Not knowing what else to say, I added, “Why do you ask?”“Well since Patty and I separated I haven’t had sex at all. We didn’t have sex for almost a year before we split. You always wear sexy skirts and clothes that make me think about you sexually, quite often. Of course, you can say no but can I touch your thighs?”I don’t know what I.
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