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I try to live a life free from regret. I look at everything I experience as a lesson, or an opportunity to learn more about people and emotions and how the mind works. I find it very hard to say I regret anything in my life, even the things that no one should ever experience. Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of those things. From early childhood on into adulthood. I think I got used to always being the strong one, always being the one who saves others pain even if it means I take it myself, always the one that everyone goes to for help and advice, but with no one to go to myself. Partly by my own doing, because I feel I can handle anything life throws at me. I remind myself what I’ve already come through, and try to be mindful that if I could survive that, I can literally survive anything. But I’m tired. I’m so tired. My soul is drained, and there’s nothing left to give. Nothing left to bolster my spirits but sheer will alone. I have the undesirable ability to shut down emotions. I. Leslie rolled her eyes in disgust."I would estimate it happens once in every three shoots," she said. "I am certain it has happened at least that often to me." Me, too," Allie confirmed. "I've only done it once and that was extenuating circumstances."She and Leslie explained the two shoots they had left. Adam expected Nora to cringe but instead she got angry."That is bullshit!" she spat."Mom," Sean interrupted."It is bullshit, Sean," Nora persisted. "You can't tell me you think any differently." No, I don't," Sean admitted. "But still." If the people in this restaurant haven't heard the word 'bullshit' it's time they did," Nora said. "When Sean told me about what this company was doing I will admit I was uncomfortable with it. Now I understand. I've watched pornography. I will admit I haven't watched it in the past decade or so and I didn't understand the way the industry had turned. But if you can keep things like that from happening, then I am all for it." We can't keep it from.
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