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Jack tried appealing to my former vanity and reminded me that I still had the body that had the boys lining up, trying to get my cherry, but I couldn't even get the time of day now, much less laid!I could sense the whole family was now burdened by me and for the first time, I thought seriously about ending it all.When I first hinted to Jack that life was over for me, he hugged me dearly, and was that the beginnings of a boner I detected on him...for his own sister?Although it momentarily made me feel alive, I chalked it up to the emotions of the moment and let it pass.But to me, Jack had effectively proven that even HE didn't care that much about me by agreeing to get the drugs for my overdose. I'm certain I'll go through with it, and teach them all.So, on this hot and humid August night, just two weeks shy of my eighteenth birthday, Jack came into my room around midnight.We went through the checklist: Will, note, personal inventory.Jack suggested I take a real hot bath, which I had. Guess who was left?I looked at the pool, and Kristen and Lynette were together in the deep end while Daniel and Charley were in the middle. Neither couple made any overt movements toward the other. Occasionally, every one would take a glance at me.The problem was, I had (and still have) a horrible self image. I knew that I wasn't a jock, and I didn't have the muscles that Archy or any of the other athletic students had. If I was naked, I'd be a scrawny and pasty looking nerd.I took a few deep breaths, and tried to think of something that would take my mind off my nervousness.Naturally, I thought of June.Great. Now I was a scrawny and pasty looking nerd with an erection.Why did I think of June? I usually don't have a defeatist attitude. I thought about cuddling June, kissing her... No! This wasn't working! What else was it about June that made me think of her?There was June's mother, but she wasn't helpful in this situation. Who else? Archy?Archy! It hit me! June told me that my cock.
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