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My dozen or so appearances as Jess had been my very first experiences ofcrossdressing. Until then I guess it was a mixture of shame and lack ofopportunity that stopped me taking my uncertainties about my gender frommy dreams into reality until Beth and Kelly unknowingly made thedecision for me. Although I did argue the point with them I knew I wouldagree to wear the padded bra, and make-up when they suggested it. Somehow having had them make the first move for me felt like they had alsokind of taken responsibility for my interest in crossdressing even afterI moved to Manchester and started dressing as 'Ruth' for my ownpleasure.As the Rock Babes started to make it big having been so close to Bethall my life I avidly read about how the band were doing in the gossipand music press. I guess I felt a mixture of pleasure for her, and greenenvy about being able to play our songs to paying punters as much Iwished I had to change my look like she had. Although I suspected Bethhated all of the. ³Have a seat and grab a coffee while you¹re waiting.² She sat down. ³I don¹t think I¹ll bother with a coffee. I¹ll just wait.² ³OK,² I replied. ³Come to think of it, David did tell us last week that we¹d be having a new model today, but he didn¹t know who. What¹s your name?² ³Abigail,² she replied. ³I¹m Melanie,² I returned. I noticed that she seemed rather nervous and her thin small hands were clasped tightly into little fists resting right on the edge of the table. It suddenly struck me that this might be her first life modelling engagement, so I decided to help. ³This your first life modelling?² I asked. ³Yes,² she replied with a nervous laugh looking down at the table. ³It¹s the first modelling of any sort for me.² ³Are you nervous?² She clasped her hands together and raised her eyes to look at me. ³Yes, I¹m very nervous. I don¹t know whether I¹ll be any good at it.² ³Belive me, I know exactly how you feel. I remember the first time I did life.
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