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And in Smith she’d found someone who could not only provide those things, but was the kind of person she really wanted. The only thing for me to do was get out of their way. I really thought that I’d hit bottom about all of this yesterday, but here it was again only worse. There was no way I’d ever get her back. It was like someone had just backed up a dump truck full of concrete, and then just dropped the whole load on me. I fell to my knees and just sobbed. Every emotion I’d ever felt just oozed out of me, it was the most desolate sadness I’d ever experienced. Time had no meaning, I was overcome. I’d heard people talk about wanting to die when a loved one passed or left them, and I now knew how that felt. It was as if everything moved in slow motion, every action, every thought required my consent, and I couldn’t see a reason for any of it. Should I breathe in? Why? Why shouldn’t I just stop breathing and let go of the pain. If I died maybe she’d understand why I. She struggled to sit up as I spread the sheet over her. I pushed her back down, gave her a kiss on the cheek and said, "You're dead on your feet and your patient's asleep. You have a guard outside in case anything happens, so rest while you can. I'll talk to you later this morning."She was sound asleep before I got out of the curtained cubical. John was asleep as well, so on the way out I asked Pat look in on them from time to time. I headed directly to the reception hall, figuring to find the rest of my wives and students there.The hall was abuzz with conversation as most people seemed to be chowing down. I noticed that none of the Graytons or Smiths was present. First stop was the kitchen where I saw Julie, Lana and Laura helping Sheila with the cooking. A copy of the New Times was taped on the commercial refrigerator. There was a notice in bold on the front that all flight students were to assemble at seven o'clock on the flight line every day until further notice. Looking at the.
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