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I really didn’t want to die, not of AIDS. Shit. I had to think.The drive to Turtle Park was only about four miles. I found a shady table to plant myself and ruminate. The day was sunny and warm, well it was still summer for a couple more weeks; a few months more and it would be the year 2000. Years came and went in my life all without a lot of meaningfulness, not for me.I thought about how my death would affect the lot of them, and maybe especially Marian. I remembered our high school days, and how she’d fucked me over at the prom. It seemed childish now, but that bit of high school rejection on her part had literally led to everything that was going on now, and, at base, led to my time in prison. It really was true that a stone thrown into the ocean sent ripples around the world.I wondered if I had in the end gotten handed a death sentence, because of this HIV thing. I wondered if I would have any final maudlin meeting with Ava before I expired? I sure didn’t cotton to being part of. And that reduces the risk she’ll need a liver transplant. It looks like the charcoal they used to absorb the drugs did the trick, though they may put her on dialysis anyway. They are very hopeful now, though she’s not out of the woods just yet.”“Thank God,” I sighed. “When can I see her?”“Not before tomorrow. And they want a psychological consult before anyone except her mom and I see her. Mike, please, go home. I promise you we’ll call you if anything changes, and as soon as she can have visitors, we’ll ask her to see you. No, we’ll insist that she see you.”“I don’t know.”“Mike,” Mrs. Mills implored. “Go home. She’s going to need you strong, even if she doesn’t realize it. Please.”They, and my mom, had made reasonable points, and short of forcing my way into the treatment rooms, I wasn’t going to be able to see Jocelyn before morning, and even then, I wasn’t sure she’d want to see me. Going home made sense, even though I wanted to stay.“OK,” I said. “If you promise to call if.
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