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When Amy got the text at lunch, Chelsea assumed it was the guy, considering her friends elated behavior. She couldn’t take it anymore, she signaled the waiter and ordered another martini. Fuck it, she thought, I have the afternoon off for no good fucking reason anymore, may as well get hammered. She glanced up and caught the look on Simon’s face and wanted to strangle him. His look was clearly one of devilish glee. He had obviously gleaned from her expression that she had misread the reason behind his question. She reached out and smacked his bicep. “Hey, no reason to get violent! Damn, just when I was going to ask you to dinner, you get all Chuck Norris on me, jeez!” He rubbed his upper arm dramatically and tried not to laugh. “You are not nice Simon! That was mean! You shouldn’t mess with a girl under the influence of dirty martinis you know? That was just messed up.” She pouted outrageously, sticking her generous bottom lip out in mock despair. “And yes I will go to dinner with. Guys are rigid, overly firm, and sometimes I feel like I’m rubbing up against a tree trunk. I get whisker burn from their five-o’clock shadows and bruises when they squeeze too tightly. My kind of sex! Now if I could just have one goddamn orgasm with a guy instead of resorting to a vibrating egg and I’d be one content cow. Jeff was busy groping, kissing and taking his sweet time not putting the head of his instrument anywhere near me. I was going to explode and he was more involved with my neck than anything else. I had gotten so wet that I think I’d soaked through the mattress and onto the floor below. I grabbed the base of him, flicking my best fuck-me eyes his way, and Jeff forgot about my neck. His breath was ragged. Now we were on the same page. I slid the tip along my panty covered slit hoping that this would give him the picture. But instead, probably because IT guys get as much play as John C. Reilly, Jeff suddenly froze, came all over my stomach, and passed out. Oh thank.
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