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" Tandra Hayes," I struggled off the sofa and onto my knees, " would you marry me?"My sister just stared at me as if in a trance, then ran over to where I knelt, dropped down on her knees, and hugged the stuffing out of me."Keith Hayes, I'd love to be your wife!" she squealed with unbridled enthusiasm. Then she grabbed the envelope out of Cassie's hands and pulled the certificate out, almost leaving water marks on it as tears of joy ran down her cheeks."Umm, Cassie? Would you excuse us? It looks like we have a marriage to consummate, and that's not something I really want to share with anyone but my wife," I happily teased my ex-girlfriend. "I owe you for this, you know," I added, "but can it wait until after the honeymoon?" Maybe," she smiled as she teased both of us. "Luckily for you, Bill's downstairs waiting for me, or I'd stick around just to piss you off. He wanted to come in too, but I thought it might tip off the manager. We'll catch up with you two later tonight at The Fox.. Then she considered the fake romance from their point of view, how they didn’t know what romance was like except from the movies and they had to learn sometime. She talked non-stop, hardly taking a breath, like she was pouring out her soul to the one person in the world who would understand. That was me, alright, the one person in the world who truly understood. She talked continuously like this for maybe 15 minutes. It was a long time without a break, with me saying little except ‘I know,’ ‘Yes’, ‘They did that to me too,’ and other minor agreements whenever I could get a word into her stream of consciousness. I nodded and looked concerned a lot. Finally, she ran out of breath and checked the clock. As abruptly as she arrived, she gulped down the milk, said goodbye, and left, off to class, with a big smile and a wave. She’d hadn’t eaten the fruit or yogurt. As she was talking, I couldn’t help but notice how good-natured she was, considering the enormity of her problem. She wasn’t.
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