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." Hey Kate. Kate!! Its okay nothing happened," she looked down "I lied to him. When he asked me about his father I couldn't just tell him "Noah meet Nick. Your three years old son!!" I couldn't." But didn't he ask about the father?" He did. Well I sort of lied about that too. I... I told him that Nick's father doesn't know anything about his existence. Oh Kate I didn't know what to do. I had to make up a story and that was the best one I was able to come up with. He was standing there staring at Nick as if he had never seen a child before. Besides why should I tell him anything, he might not care about Nick... Or... he can..." she stopped talking as a thought hit her "Oh my god maybe he'd think about taking Nick from me. He can't take him away from me Kate. No, no he can't." she was almost screaming. Only the thought of Noah taking Nick from her made her terrified."Nedia honey. He is not going to take Nick from you. You just said you didn't tell him the truth. He now thinks Nick is. I didn’t come out or start dating women until I was 30. At the time it seemed like such a relief to not have to perform a hetero role because I had a lot of deeply buried feelings that I had to deal with. Having a break from social expectations of heterosexuality helped me to redefine myself. Some people have a hard time wrapping their brains around the idea of a changeable gender because they see a natural definition of gender roles that seems rather inherent. However, I am not one who sees gender as either/or. I think that we all have a different combination of both male and female characteristics. Some people lean more to one or the other end of the spectrum but just because they perceive themselves that way does not mean that they are incapable of experiencing the other side of the spectrum. Now it seems like my feelings are coming full circle. Don’t ask me what that means exactly, because I don’t really know. I’m still not interested in men the way I used to be, but I dont’ feel.
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