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The man said he would like coffee. The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man’s lap when she stopped at the table. “Oh my God! I am so sorry!!”“That’s OK” the man said, sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin “but tell me, is this regular or decaf?” “Regular”she replied. “Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night!”This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first”. Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left”. Patient: “OH NO! That’s awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this??” Doctor: “You also have Alzheimer’s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you”.At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city. I was seated next to the famous Luke, who was late. That meant everyone would be watching him--and by extension, me.Then the girls' giggles grew in volume and I knew he'd arrived. He wandered into the room and a great silence fell.Truth be told, I'd expected a blonde and blue-eyed guy with ruddy cheeks and a boy-next-door, innocent kind of aura.But he was a tall man with a sharp nose, a grim mouth and eyes as black as night. The light shone against them, making their glow appear cruel and alien. They were fathomless as they swept across the room, touching on each face with the barest amount of reaction.Nick stepped forward and shook his hand. "Luke, thanks for coming, buddy!"I felt like I was in some lame movie set in the '50's with terrible acting and models desperately trying to become actresses.The girls sat down, buzzing with anticipation as Nick brought Luke around, introducing or reintroducing him to his guests. Everyone made a spectacle of themselves, even the men. I heard.
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