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You decide to play along for now."So what's the issue then?" Someone's torn out the ending to these books! There's no 'Happily Ever After' anymore!" And that's...bad, right?" It's horrible!" She sobs. "Without an ending, these worlds are pulled into a state of eternal chaos. If the story doesn't have a happy ending, no one in the world is allowed a happy ending." Ooookay." You say, trying to stay on focus. "So why not just write a new ending? It's just a fairy tale. I used to read them as a kid. I know how a lot of them end." So do I, but it's not that simple. These are portals to real words, remember? You can't write in these books. The book writes itself as the plot progresses. Someone has to go to these worlds and bring about a happy ending." So why don't you just go in and conduct a little 'Happily Ever After' yourself?" I'm not allowed to." She moans in dispair. "I'm the guardian of the books. I can enter each realm, but I'm not allowed to interfere with the story directly, like. My new and improved hearing let me listen as... 'Fuck,' exclaimed Tabby. 'And I thought UK would be a boring, podunk college. Where the hell did they make him? I'll order a dozen! You knew Danny Boy last year, Miranda, and you didn't snatch him up?' 'That is not the guy I knew last year. The Daniel I knew was a pudgy, shy guy who never got up the courage to ask me out.' 'Well,' Tabby said in a considering voice. 'Well, he's still shy as hell. Did you see him blush? If you didn't grab him last year then that means he's fair game, girl. As shy as he seemed, you don't think he might still be a virgin, do ya? Oh, my God! Just thinking of tall, dark and handsome being a shy virgin has my claws out. And Tabby Cat has sharp claws!' If I ever needed proof that God exists, beyond the angel-on-my-shoulder that Rabbi Vanderbilt seemed to have, I had it now as the elevator doors closed on anything that might have been said afterwards. Who else would arrange things that a vampire would be.
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